


Broken Crown

by Catatonica



Category: Naruto
Genre: Blind Character, F/M, Hidan is oblivious but not dumb, Hidan needs more love and honestly I wish his character was more complex, Kakuzu and Reader already know each other, Reader-Insert, it just doesn't fit Kakuzu, like not too much, no happy ending sorry :(, or Akatsuki in general, reader is blind, so I just wrote him with more complexity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27540532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catatonica/pseuds/Catatonica
Summary: It is the task of Kakuzu and Hidan to find one of the Jinchuuriki and take him into custody. The search turns out to be difficult and Kakuzu has to ask an old friend for help.
Relationships: Kakuzu (Naruto)/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Touch my mouth and holde my tongue

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language, so sorry if there are any mistakes! :)

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Hidan grumbled and crumpled up a piece of paper. At his feet there was already a whole bunch of little balls lying around, crumpled and partly crushed. "How are we supposed to find that damn cow!"  
"Calm down," Kakuzu replied briefly, but he himself was getting impatient. The informants' base had been a good idea, but there was nothing here about the two-tailed one. Although the small hut was well hidden near Kumogakure - which meant that there must be something useful here - the papers only contained uninteresting junk. Kakuzu snorted in frustration and let a pile of data about the growth of the Kumo financial system slide to the ground.  
It was both annoying and pointless. The task was to find the two-tailed girl and take her to extract her jinchuuriki. Sounded easier than it really was because the nibi was submerged. Apparently the whisper of dangerous Akatsuki blew ahead again. Kakuzu had always thought they should not wear such flashy coats. It was probably the boss' crap, once again completely melodramatic.  
"That's garbage," the younger one next to him scolded and kicked strongly against one of the filing cabinets. "Pain should have given us more information! Or even Konan, for my sake! One of them must know where the nine idiots are!"  
"I know someone who could help us," Kakuzu growled and flipped through the papers. His stomach hurt at the thought of what he was about to do.  
"Oh, and what omniscient being is that?!", Hidan moaned annoyingly. He leaned against the edge of the desk and crossed his arms.  
"Shut up," Kakuzu countered harshly and threw the last, meaningless documents to the floor. He paused briefly as he reviewed the thought carefully once more. Did he really want to ask her for help?

  
  
After a short yawn, you stretched your arms far up until it cracked pleasantly in your back.  
"I am getting old," you grumbled and rubbed your neck. It was a beautiful, radiant morning. You felt the sun on your face with its warm, inviting rays. And yet, in the afternoon it would surely rain - your nose was tickling slightly with the sticky air.  
But there was something else. Your stomach was queasy and you had a bad feeling where all the hairs on your neck stood up. There was no one else in the house, you knew that.  
But what was it then? A bad premonition? Maybe it was just your imagination.  
"Coffee...", you sighed after a thoughtful minute - it was much too early for such exhausting thoughts!

  
  
"When will we finally be there," nagged Hidan unnervedly as he fought his way through the scratchy blackberry bushes, Kaku too close on his heels. "And seriously, isn't there an easier way to get there?!"  
"If it were easy, she probably wouldn't be alive right now."  
Hidan paused briefly.  
"She?"  
"As you said, an 'all-knowing being'. Or rather, a damn good informant."  
"And why didn't you mention her before? After all, we could have used a great fucking C.I. like her more often!"  
Kakuzu snarled annoyingly and tore himself out of a particularly affectionate shrub.  
"She's expensive."  
"Oh, now you're worried about your money again, huh?!" Hidan shouted to him and wiped cursing blackberry juice from his arms. "Why don't you just get her to give you the information - by force, as usual."  
"Because they are not paid for with money. Now shut the fuck up!"  
The woods around them were so thick that hardly anyone could see a few meters. The dense foliage did not allow any sounds to penetrate, not even the chirping of the birds. Only the eyes of a fox penetrated through the dim light of the undergrowth, which quickly disappeared from the eyes of the two Akatsuki, however. The forest ground was overgrown with roots and mushrooms, which exploded in small pore clouds under the heavy steps of the two men.  
"Shit-", Hidan cursed again, but Kakuzu made him shut up by stopping abruptly. "What's wrong now?"  
"Be quiet," Kakuzu commanded him as quietly as possible. "She'll hear us."  
"In this shitty forest?!" replied the younger one, dramatically throwing his arms in the air. "There's nothing here, not even a fucking tent or something!"  
But Kakuzu only waved to him, meaning that he should follow him further.  
He became restless the closer they got to the house. For years he had deliberately avoided this part of the forest, and those who knew them did the same. If you wanted to know something about her, the price was usually high. Very high.  
And even Kakuzu was rarely willing to pay this price. Hidan would still be surprised what a devil this woman was - and how powerful she was.  
"Are we jet-hmpfg!!" The young monk's mouth was abruptly shut when Kakuzu pressed his hand in front of his face.  
"Shut up!!" he hissed, as quietly as possible. "There."  
The forest ended abruptly at a cliff where a house stood inconspicuously. Not very large, but already with two stories and a small herb garden in front of the door. There could rather live a nice old lady and not a far feared Kunoichi.  
An incredulous look from two violet eyes made Kakuzu take his hand out of Hidan's face and he nodded his head towards the house.  
Through the window at the front, a woman could be seen sitting at the kitchen table. Kakuzu watched her for a moment, but then hesitated.  
But he immediately recovered and knocked vigorously on the wooden door. Without waiting for an answer he entered and Hidan followed suspiciously.  
"I can't believe my eyes," you shouted in surprise when you heard the footsteps of the two men. "Is that Kakuzu? Oh, and in company, too."  
You pushed the chair out from under the table with your foot as a sign that they should sit down.  
"It's good to see you, Kakuzu."  
He snorted in disbelief and looked into your white eyes.  
"Still blind as a mole, huh?"  
"Hey, don't make jokes about blind people," you replied, artificially offended. "Besides, I see much better than others and you know it."  
You took a sip of your drink and leaned against the back of the chair. Your milky eyes wandered over to Hidan, who just stared at you suspiciously.  
"How is such a fucking blind woman going to help us find the two-tailed one?!" he rattled off, but within moments you had pulled a kunai and sunk it down Hidan's throat with a violent throw. He wheezed, grabbed his neck and tried to pull it out, but all he did was spill the blood that gushed from the injured artery.  
"Don't mess up my carpet, lad," you growled, rose, and with a strong kick you carried him into the corner of the room - so he could bleed all over the floor but not your carpet.  
"I'm sorry about your partner," you said to Kakuzu, but he waved away.  
"He'll get up again."  
You frowned in surprise. "What do you mean by that?"  
"He's a stand-up guy, I'm afraid." Kakuzu growled and pulled the mask off his mouth. Hidan gurgled pitifully in the corner, his body in agony, but already healing again.  
"I understand. Fascinating - do you know more about it? It would be a nice down payment for the information you want from me."  
"If you're aiming at that immortality number, he's just an ordinary brat with interesting abilities. Nothing more," the elder rumbled. "You know I don't believe that rumor."  
"There is at least one immortal in this world and you know it. But whether that little brat is... Well, that's rather doubtful."  
"You really believe it all, huh?" The piercing green eyes looked at you for a moment, but then subsided again. You felt a hint of nostalgia in him - was he getting old after all?  
"Kakuzu," you whispered, tearing him from his thoughts. "What do you want to know?"  
He took a deep breath and nodded slightly.  
"I must find the bijuu."  
Your empty eyes widened slightly and a gentle smile crept to your lips.  
"So, the bijuu - I should have guessed that Obito would not let go of Madara's megalomania.  
"Madara? Like Uchiha?," Kakuzu asked irritatedly, but you waved away.  
"It's a story for another day," you decided to drink more. The wine was dry, but slightly sweet and tasted excellent - but the bitter aftertaste remained.  
"You know my price is high," you whispered and cast an empty look at Hidan, who slowly began to pick himself up. "Can you pay?"  
"I always could until now," Kakuzu replied dryly and you finally nodded. "Fine, let's go over there. Tell your appendage not to break anything."  
You got up, took safe steps around the table and disappeared into the next room.  
"Stay here," he growled at the younger one, who was only groaning and rubbing his healed neck.  
"Hey, where are you going!" he asked immediately, but got no answer.  
  


Hidan looked after the two of you, but then sat down at the kitchen table, annoyed, and thought. All this was strange and especially Kakuzu behaved very strangely. Normally, he would have just killed you, but on the contrary - he obeyed like a well-trained dog.  
He leaned the scythe against the edge of the table, but after a short hesitation he got up to look around a bit. The kitchen was open and inviting, well cleaned and filled with fresh fruits and vegetables.  
The house is unnaturally clean and well-kept - even if she lives here alone, Hidan thought. His stomach signaled to him clearly that something was wrong here. It may not have been as intelligent and calculating as Kakuzu, but he was not stupid. And he had always been able to rely on his gut feeling!  
  


It took more than an hour before the two of them came out of the room again. Hidan lay bored with his head on the kitchen table, but looked up when the door opened.  
"Finally," he grumbled annoyed, but saw that Kakuzu had just pulled his coat over his shoulders - why had he taken it off? "Did you fuck?"  
Kakuzu and you froze for a moment and then you started laughing.  
"Nonsense", you waved and turned to Kakuzu. "Show him and he'll know the system."  
The elder growled, but pulled up the wide sleeve of his coat. Hidan frowned.  
"A new tattoo?" The rings on Kakuzu's forearms counted only three until now - one was new, now there were four. "What for? I thought they stood for you being in prison!"  
"That means I can always ask for a favor. And he is obliged to fulfill it," you explained and sat down at the table again. "Whatever it is - whether I want him to make me a coffee or wipe out an entire village."  
Something dark glittered in the white eyes and Hidan said nothing about all this. But the sinking feeling in his stomach became more and more.  
"Kakuzu, let's go," said the monk and reached for his scythe. "Where must we go?"  
"It's not that easy," Kakuzu replied, looking into the purple eyes.  
"Why not?"  
"I'll know more in a day or two," you said calmly. "My birds have already flown away. I'll gather everything I can find."  
"So you don't know where Nibi is!" Hidan scolded and snorted impatiently. "Come Kakuzu, let's go! She has no idea what she's talking about! She's just fucking with us!"  
But the black-haired man just shook his head.  
"Let's wait. She's been delivering so far."  
Hidan was irritated by the mischievous lightning in your empty eyes, but didn't go against Kakuzu anymore either.  
"And what are we going to do for so long?" he yapped, with a certain defiance in his voice.  
"There are some bounties nearby," you said casually and put on a broad smile.  
'Wrong snake,' Hidan shrugged, but he looked at Kakuzu, who was already getting up to go to work.  
Hidan pulled the corners of his mouth downwards, suspicious and confused - what was going on here?  
  



	2. I will not speak of your sin

Disgruntled, Hidan stared at the passing clouds and tried to get to the bottom of it. So: Kakuzu knew you for a long time. And you seemed to be very confident with the older one. Already almost familiar. And now you also had a favor to do for Kakuzu, since you were able to get information about the two-tailed one. But why were you two so familiar? That was the only thing that didn't want to get into his head - there was more to it than just a fleeting acquaintance! Who knew, maybe you had worked with him in his time before Akatsuki. Maybe he should just ask Kakuzu?  
Hidan straightened up, snorted discontentedly and looked around briefly. He lay in front of the inconspicuous little house in the grass and had been plucking clover leaves for an hour, letting them blow away in the wind.  
Kakuzu was still on his way and you were in the house - Hidan didn't know what you were doing.  
The cool breeze in his neck announced rain and he sighed heavily. The stomach pains got worse with every passing hour.  
"You must be hungry." He jumped up immediately, the scythe in his right hand and looked at you angrily.  
"Not a bit," he replied cheekily, but that didn't seem to bother you in the least.  
"Come on, I'll make dinner," you tried to persuade him, but he shook his head.  
"No, thank you," he growled and shouldered his gun to stubbornly run past you to the edge of the forest. You looked after him, rolling your eyes and shrugging your shoulders inside.  
  
  


Kakuzu came back in the early evening hours, his coat heavy from the rain and dripping all over the small veranda - but with a suitcase with him.  
"So you succeeded, huh?" asked Hidan, who had sat down on the porch after the rain had started. The wind blew cold through the low branches of the forest and tore at the two of them. Kakuzu wiped his sleeve over his face, but that didn't really help.  
"Why are you sitting out here?" he asked the younger one. "Have you become so stupid that you don't notice the rain anymore?"  
"Ha-ha." came the annoyed answer. "I've been waiting for you, so we can finally get out of here!"  
The eyes of the elder narrowed suspiciously.  
"Why? We don't have our information yet."  
"Can you feel anything else?!" Hidan hissed angrily and rose from the floorboards. "That old lady is fucking us over! Today she even asked if I wanted something to eat!"  
"It's terrible," Kakuzu said dryly. "I guess she really is a malicious genius if she wants to kill you with food."  
"It could be poison!" countered the young monk, but was a little uneasy. "And you know that too!"  
Kakuzu just rolled his eyes and didn't pay any attention to Hidan. He went into the house and through the small window Hidan peered in.  
The elder talked to you for a moment, you nodded and the two of you remained silent. Kakuzu sat down at the kitchen table and began to count the contents of the suitcase.  
Meanwhile, Hidan pressed his nose against the cold window pane, trembling outside in the rain.  
  


"Your partner is quite an idiot," you said to Kakuzu when you heard Hidan pressing his face further towards the window.  
"Tell me about it," grumbled the black-haired man, absorbed in his numbers. "Pain has given him to me because he knows I cannot kill him."  
"Not so stupid at all."  
You kept on chopping the vegetables, a few thick carrots, which you threw into the pot. It was a thick, bubbling soup, your mother's recipe. It already smelled very tempting and on top of that it really filled you up - that's how a dinner had to be!  
"Do you think he wants something to eat, too?" you asked Kakuzu, who had to stop annoyed again in his sequence of numbers and looked at the window.  
"I don't give a damn. He won't starve," he kept on flipping the bills through his fingers. "Now shut the fuck up before I lose count."  
Cooking wasn't easy without being able to see something, but you've been living with it since you could think. At first it was almost impossible to become a successful Kunoichi, but you had developed techniques that could replace your sight. Feeling the chakra flow of other people was essential. By giving out small amounts of chakra, you could locate your surroundings like a bat and not be lost in the darkness. Only the cutting of vegetables took a little longer than others.  
The squeaking of Hidan's cheek on the pane was so annoying that you finally went to the door and tore it open inwards in a sweeping manner.  
"Get your ass in here, damn it!" you shouted into the storm. "This is unbearable!"  
"I'm definitely not going to have any!"  
"IN YOU GO!"  
For a moment he looked at you with big eyes, but then he obediently followed your command and sat down at the table soaked.  
"Cloak off," you asked him, and to your amazement he obeyed you without a word. "You are dripping all over the place. Kakuzu, yours too."  
The black-haired man didn't say anything, but he gave you a nasty look. You put the two coats and Kakuzu's mask over the heater, where they could dry and warm again. That was better than getting all the wooden floorboards wet and bending them at the end!  
Hidan watched Kakuzu out of the corner of his eye, who was almost done with the contents of his suitcase. He seldom saw the elderly man without a mask and every time Hidan found it strange again. These scars looked strange, even he was a little irritated. But you seemed completely unimpressed.  
"Aren't you cold at all," you asked Hidan and he looked at you, quite astonished at such a harmless question. You really seemed to be more of a housewife than Kunoichi - how had you managed to survive for so long? Surely the dense forest didn't stop everyone who wanted to harm you.  
"How did you become a Kunoichi anyway," the monk asked straight out. "You are blind!"  
You looked at him for a moment and then you twisted your empty eyes.  
"It's good that you tell me that," you growled. "Otherwise I wouldn't have noticed! Kakuzu, did you know I was blind? Why didn't you tell me?"  
Kakuzu snorted, but not snide or angry as usual - he was amused.  
"That you've been hiding this from me all these years," you shouted theatrically. "Thanks Hidan, you have changed my life with this!"  
"It's alright, I've understood," Hidan snorted and stared at the tabletop somewhat embarrassed. The question wasn't that stupid...  
"I was born with it, it's not a disadvantage for me," you explained, now a little softer. "I think I'm even better than some shinobi with vision!  
The monk said no more, but he saw the mischievous grin of Kakuzu out of the corner of his eye. Great, even the old man laughed at him!  
"Kakuzu, please be so kind as to get some plates from the cupboard," you asked the black-haired man, who stood up without a word or an angry look and walked purposefully to the cupboard in the kitchen. Hidan watched the whole thing and the mistrust flared up again.  
"Why the hell does he know where the dishes are! Kakuzu, how many times have you been here so far?!, the younger one exclaimed angrily and jumped up. "What the hell is going on here?! You've got to be kidding me!"  
You and Kakuzu looked at Hidan, exchanged a quick glance and both sighed heavily.  
"It's none of your business," Kakuzu growled gruffly and slammed the plates on the kitchen table. "End of discussion."  
"So you had sex after all," cried Hidan. "I knew it!"  
"We did not," he replied.  
"Well, at least not today," you threw in and got a death look from Kakuzu.  
"It's none of his business!"  
"But I want to know!"  
"Just tell him!"  
"No, I won't tell him.  
"Tell me.  
You slammed the pot of soup on the table, and so without further ado, you kept quiet.  
"Enough!!" you shouted, with your patience at an end. Your empty gaze was directed at Kakuzu, who had angrily folded his arms and gave you a 'woe is me, you're talking about it' look. You could not see it, but you could feel it clearly enough. But what was wrong with telling Hidan? Besides, you didn't give a damn about Kakuzu's threatening looks and gestures - and he knew that very well. A resigned sigh and he shrugged his shoulders, knowing that it was too late now anyway.  
"It's a long story," you began, but Kakuzu impatiently stepped in, just wanted it over.  
"We are divorced."  
Hidan lost the control over his facial expression for a moment.  
"She is your wife?!," he asked perplexed and with a thousand questions in his head at once.  
"She **was** my wife, are you deaf?" the elder growled annoyed. "And now let's end this subject!"  
"Have you left him?", Hidan turned to you immediately, all excited and beside himself. "Or did he try to kill you? To sell you out?!"  
You laughed, knew exactly how endlessly annoyed Kakuzu was now, and you enjoyed it to the fullest.  
"Of course I dumped him, clearly." With a mischievous sideways glance at Kakuzu, who just snorted angrily and gritted his teeth and disappeared into the living room next door.  
"You know, we were very happy," you sighed.  
"Bullshit," Hidan replied incredulously. "Kakuzu is never happy."  
You shook your head.  
"On the contrary, he was once very happy with me. He's just so... You know what I mean."  
Hidan nodded affirmatively. That was the way Kakuzu was. An asshole.  
"How long were you married?" asked the young man curiously.  
"Three years," you replied and nostalgia seized you. "And in the beginning it was really very nice. But we quickly understood that love cannot overcome everything."  
Hidan became calmer and also a bit thoughtful. It was a sensation, huge news, simply unbelievable!  
So why didn't he feel happy that he could give Kakuzu hell with this information whenever he wanted to?  
No, his stomach hurt even more.  
  



	3. I'll be home safe and tucked away

_"Please tell me you're not serious," you hissed angrily and clasped the flowers in your hand a little tighter._   
_"I don't know what you mean," Kakuzu muttered hypocritically to you - but you stepped on his foot violently and grabbed his shirt collar._   
_"I can smell the fucking blood," you hissed and gave him an empty but burning look._   
_Caught he sighed and released your hand from his top._   
_"Oh come on, as if that was something new to you," he growled and watched the priest continue to bubble his speech to himself. He didn't even seem to notice that you two weren't listening to him._   
_"But, Kakuzu... Today of all days?!", you asked quietly and tightened your shoulders, the bouquet a little more firmly in your grip._   
_"It was a lot of money!"_   
_You groaned resignedly and gritted your teeth. On your wedding day, of all days, he had to run after a wanted man and thus defile himself. As he stank of blood, he had to be covered from top to bottom!_   
_And yet he was there, right on time - he was reliable after all. Perhaps his best quality, you thought._   
_"-tzt küssen," the end of the dusty speech tore you from your thoughts, and you felt a hand under your chin, followed by two warm lips on yours._   
_Nobody cheered, nobody clapped. It was just the priest, Kakuzu and you._   
_But that didn't bother you a bit, because now you were married!_   
_Everything would be fine._

  
  
After a resigned sigh, you sipped your tea with a shot and enjoyed the warmth of the alcohol. It dispelled sorrow and worries only too well, you knew that very well by now.  
"And that was the beginning of the end," you concluded your story to Hidan, who had been listening in silence. He lay on the table with his upper body, chin on his arms, and looked at you with big eyes. You smiled inwardly at his reverence for your story - he was so young and stupid, ready to learn how unfair life was. And yet he had already experienced a lot, you could feel that. Many, many bad things.  
"How did it come about that you left Kakuzu," he asked and played around with the label of the tea bag in his cup - so chamomile tea was not really his cup of tea.  
"Some other time," you refused him and stood up. "It's getting late."  
"Where is Kakuzu anyway," the white-haired man asked, suddenly aware of reality again. "He's been gone so long."  
"I can guess," you muttered, went around the table and opened the door to the next room - a small but cozy living room. On the small couch sat Kakuzu, half asleep and with a few bills of money on his stomach that he had counted before.  
"Kakuzu," you whispered and touched him gently on the shoulder. Immediately he grabbed your hand and two green eyes stared at you in the darkness. "It is late. And I think Hidan will soon fall asleep at my kitchen table."  
"And why is this my fucking problem?" he returned annoyed. "He's an Akatsuki, he can't just fall asleep."  
"Let him sleep on the couch," you insisted, evading his grip. "You can sleep at my place if you want."  
"You don't believe that."  
"Don't make such a fuss," was your short answer and you went into the kitchen where Hidan was still sitting at the table, staring into his cold tea.  
"You can get on the couch," you told him and he looked away in shame.  
"I am not tired."  
"I didn't say that either - only that you're welcome to go on the couch."  
Murmuring a quiet 'thank you', Hidan got up and went to the living room when Kakuzu came out of it. The two partners walked past each other and for the moment it looked like they were standing still and wanted to say something - but then they just walked past each other stubbornly and without a word.  
You rolled your eyes, turned off the light in the kitchen and went upstairs to the stairs, it was unusual to have to turn on the light switch because you didn't need light at night. You knew every millimeter of this house, but did Kakuzu still know everything?  
"You should be nicer to him," you said when you felt the chakra of the black-haired man behind you. "He's not as bad as you like to make him out to be."  
"I wouldn't know what that's got to do with you," it rumbled close behind you and you got goose bumps on your neck. "We're just here for information."  
"But of course." you half-heartedly agreed. "But did you really exhaust all possibilities before you came to me?"  
You stopped at the top of the stairs and felt an angry look on your face.  
"I wouldn't have come here if it wasn't absolutely necessary."  
He lied to you, you knew that - but it was better to leave it at that. By now you knew his temperament only too well and knew exactly how he reacted to provocation.  
Your bed was big enough for the two of you and although it was strange not to sleep alone - it was Kakuzu. You had shared a bed for years.  
Your clothes stayed on your body and you lay under the blanket with a pleasant sigh - you had quickly taken a second one out of the closet for Kakuzu.  
"Good night," you mumbled to the pillow, but the black-haired man remained standing beside the bed.  
You turned to him, irritated.  
"What is it?"  
"Nothing," he replied briskly and lay down on the mattress, pressing himself down a little more. Unusually, it shot through your head.  
But then it suddenly struck you.  
"I'm lying on your side," you said and felt him lying on the blanket with his arms crossed behind his head.  
"And?"  
"That's why you hesitated," you continued, but you regretted it immediately. His muscles tightened and you feared that he would get up. "But no matter," you quickly added.  
  


Kakuzu didn't really seem tired - or something seemed to be seriously bothering him. He slid back and forth as unobtrusively as possible, turning from left to right. Your guess was that it was the wrong side of the bed. He could be a strong and impressive ninja, no matter how strong and impressive, old habits were not to be broken.  
"Kakuzu?," you asked quietly and he growled, pretending that you had woken him. "Can we change sides, please? I can't sleep."  
Brief silence, then he sat up and you slid behind him to the other side of the mattress. You pulled your blanket up to your chin and could hide a smile.  
"Thank you," you mumbled, but he did it with another annoyed growl. You gladly accepted the deep growl, since you knew he would never have asked on his own.  
"Good night," you repeated, but there was no answer. Instead, his breath became calmer with every minute and every breath deeper until you could be sure that he had fallen asleep.  
With a deep sigh, you too closed your eyes and concentrated on his steady breathing to finally fall asleep as well. His body warmth, his breath, his smell - that was a bit much at once. Your throat hurt and your eyes burned, all caused by the deep, oppressive feeling in your chest. He should not have come, you thought desperately. It opened up old wounds that you thought had long since healed. But no, on the contrary - it still hurt as much as before.  
You tried with all means to keep your chest calm and not to tremble when two hot tears rolled down your cheeks and fell on your pillow.  
What you didn't know was that Kakuzu of course hadn't just fallen asleep. He felt and heard your crying and it disturbed him. Not because it kept him awake - he always slept badly anyway - but because he was the source of it all.  
Stubbornly he depressed every feeling of guilt and pretended not to hear you.  
But that just wouldn't work.  
  



	4. There was a way out for him

The morning after next, with a coffee in your hand, you were sitting on the small bench in front of your house, enjoying the early sunrays on your face. Your informants had already given feedback, but you still had no exact idea where the wanted person was - the two men slowly but surely became impatient. You understood the pressure they were under, but you couldn't do magic either.  
"Morning," grumbled Hidan, who shuffled outside and leaned his scythe against the wall of the house.  
"Slept well?," you asked, but he growled dismissively.  
"When will you know where we can find the two-tailed one?"  
You took a sip of coffee, hesitated briefly and then pulled your face thoughtfully.  
"Soon," was your short answer. You felt anger boil up in the young Akatsuki and had to refrain from smiling. He was impatient and quick-tempered, just like someone you had known for a long time.  
You remained silent for a long time, stared into the forest and both revelled in your own thoughts. Suddenly the shrill panic screeching of some birds could be heard, fluttering excitedly out of the undergrowth. Immediately, Hidan stood upright and you felt him push something in front of you. Although there was no reason for that, because you knew exactly what was in the forest.  
After a quiet minute, the undergrowth of broom wobbled and todd out - yes, what was it? With the physique of a bear cub, but amidst the black threads sat a round mask made of porcelain.  
Hidan stared at the little masked animal for a moment, then his mouth opened. The mask was absolutely unknown to him and he knew all four masks on Kakuzu's back. Where did the animal come from?!  
"Kakuzu," he shouted into the house with a slightly worried tone of voice, but he did not take his eyes off the strange masked monster. Besides, it was so - small.  
Your face brightened.  
"There you are, Kokoro," you shouted, and went to the little black monster who stood on its short hind legs and wanted to climb up on you. "Where have you been? Were you hunting squirrels again?"  
Kakuzu also came out of the house and looked at Hidan.  
"What do you want," he growled and the younger one pointed wordlessly at the mini-monster.  
"Ah, yes, maybe I should explain that briefly," Kakuzu admitted and went to the monster to stroke it as well.  
"It is a guard dog, so to speak," he explained. "Just in case."  
"Kokoro is not a guard dog," you drove in between and lifted the thick blob with a groan. It was about the size of a golden retriever - only it was very, very thick.  
"Of course he is," replied the black-haired man. "That's why I left him here!"  
"You left him here?" Hidan repeated questioningly while he looked suspiciously like Kokoro climbed on your shoulder to look at a butterfly.  
"It's controlled by me like my other masks," Kakuzu explained, crawling the little monster on his head. "It is only because I am often far away that he is... ...he is a little smaller than the others."  
"This is sick," commented the young man. "What else are you trying to hide from me? That you raised three children?!"  
"We're not hiding anything from you, it's simply none of your business," he replied annoyed. "You already know too much. I have to kill you anyway, so that no one will ever know that she lives here! In the end, she'll only die because of you!"  
Hidan flinched a little back at this word. He seemed to think for a moment, but then he just uttered a defiant 'Tse' and disappeared into the darkness of the forest.  
"Kakuzu, you stupid asshole," you snarled at your ex-husband, who looked at you in surprise.  
"What?! What have I done now?"  
"You really don't understand anything," you snarled and dropped Kokoro off to follow Hidan into the underbrush.  
A little confused, Kakuzu was left behind - what the hell had he done now?  
  


"Hidan, wait," you shouted after the younger one, but he continued to stomp through the thick, shady undergrowth. You knew the forest well, but now and then you stumbled over roots or stones. "Now wait!"  
He stopped abruptly, whirled around to you and you slammed against his chest with a dull 'Uff'.  
"Leave it alone," he growled at you and you felt his cold look on you. "I'm getting out of here - I'll wait for Kakuzu in the next village, you can tell him.  
"But Hidan-" you said.  
"Then I can't put you in any more danger, huh?", he continued and disappeared with a big leap into the next treetop.  
You paused for a moment and listened as he moved away, then you turned towards your house and growled angrily.  
He could experience something!

"And now he's run away because of you," you continued to rant wildly, while Kakuzu leaned back with his chair at the kitchen table and stared at the ceiling. He really hadn't missed these moralizing sermons.  
"You hurt his feelings!"  
"Hidan has no feelings," he growled deeply and groaned up as the fat Kokoro let himself be plumped from the table top onto his lap. He turned to the little masked monster. "And you are far too fat."  
Sadly, Kokoro let his head hang down and your collar burst.  
"Kakuzu," you hissed warningly and he flinched a little at your sharp tone - old habit. "Stop acting like a savage!"  
"Don't overdo it," he growled admonishingly, but you didn't let that impress you.  
"You hurt everyone around you just so that you don't care!" you threw at his head. And lifted the fat little monster from his lap. "You trample on Kokoro and you blame Hidan for my death. That is really unnecessary."  
"What do you care?" he growled bitterly and crossed his arms behind his head. He looked relaxed, but you knew he was angry - you could feel it.  
He had always been a coarse, bitter and all in all a hard man to bear. Probably also one of the reasons for your divorce, if you thought about it carefully. Probably the main reason.  
  


  
_"You just don't understand what I want from you," you cried, with tears in your eyes. "You're not listening to me!"_   
_"As much garbage as you talk all the time!" he shouted at you. "How am I supposed to filter out what's important, huh?"_   
_"You're just out, Kakuzu! With luck, I'll see you once a month!"_   
_"Because I'm earning money so you can live here in peace!"_   
_"We have enough money!" The tears rolled down your cheeks, leaving small dark spots on your top. He would never understand what you wanted - only him!_   
_No money, no great house and no great investments. You wanted to be him, his wife, and finally sleep next to him for another night._   
_"Kakuzu, please-" you begged him, but he turned away and went to the front door, his coat already in his hand. "Kakuzu, don't go!"_   
_He turned to you for a moment, and you saw it in his eyes- anger and hatred. That made your little bit of hope melt and an icy hand gripped your heart. Without a word he opened the door to leave once again._   
_"If you leave now, I will divorce you."_   
_He paused. Weighing up whether this threat was serious._   
_With a sob, you flinched as the front door slammed shut and you were alone._   
_He was gone - and this marriage was over._   
  



	5. In this twilight, how dare you speak of grace

You stomp angrily through the forest, even though you were constantly hanging on the blackberries. You knew the surroundings of your house inside and out, but this was a forest. It changed every day and you had to admit to yourself that you might have gotten a little lost. But only a tiny bit!  
"Dirt!" you cursed angrily and held on to the trunk of an oak tree. The sound of the wind in the tree tops was loud and disturbed your hearing. The crackling of swaying branches could just as well be a stranger stepping on fallen wood and giving himself away. You turned on your own axis a few times and then sighed heavily - it was terrible to feel so vulnerable.  
A hand grabbed your upper arm and you flinched back in shock, but the grip was firm and you couldn't escape.  
"Calm down. It's me." Hidan.  
"Don't scare me like that," you ran into him and wanted to tear yourself away, but he put his hand on your mouth and pressed his body tightly against the oak. What the hell was that all about?!  
"Be quiet." His voice was serious and he pressed himself closer to you. You heard dull, rumbling footsteps - that was six, if not more men. Strongly built and heavy, judging by the sounds. It took only a few seconds for them to pass you by - while you two stood well hidden, hidden in the shadows by Hidan's dark cloak.  
"They want to go to your house," the young Akatsuki noted and looked at you with a side glance. "Can you imagine who wants to get at your collar?"  
"Hidan, I am an informer," you muttered and turned your head away embarrassed. He was way too close to you. "A lot of people want to kill me."  
"Kakuzu will take care of them," he tried to calm you down, but that's not what made you so nervous.  
"Please let go of me," you said softly, and Hidan immediately retreated as if something had stung him. He growled a short apology and looked around more closely. You stared into the dark void and thought. You should tell him.  
"Hidan-," you started, but fell silent when you felt his gaze on you. How could you say that? "We, uh--" Let's go to the village. There is a tavern where we can stay for the time being. Kakuzu will know where to find us.  
  


  
With a light sigh, you sipped your tea and listened to the people in the small tavern. There was poker and flirting, business was also done there. The two of you had chosen a table in the darkest corner and Hidan sat opposite you, the back of the chair pushed up to the wall and everything in view. He really took very good care of you, you had to admit that - although he pretended to hate you.  
"Hidan," you said again and put your tea on the table. "I- I have something to tell you."  
"Hm?" Very clearly you felt the questioning look on your face and let your shoulders droop.  
"You must never touch me," you said and closed your eyes. "Never. Especially not around Kakuzu.  
He hesitated.  
"There are many reasons for this. But what makes you think that now of all times? And why not with Kakuzu around?"  
"Because he'd kill you.  
Hidan moved back and forth in his chair a little surprised.  
"First of all, he can't do it at all," he growled and took a sip of his water. "Secondly, you know very well that this makes me very curious."  
"You know how easily his temper gets out of control," you said and traced the edge of the cup with your finger.  
  


  
_"Kakuzu, stop," you shouted and wrapped your arms around his neck - a pathetic attempt to pull him off the man. "He hasn't done anything!"_   
_But the black-haired man saw everything only through a red curtain of rage. He struck, over and over and over and over again... It was impossible that the stranger was still alive, judging by all the blood. He had done nothing. He had flirted with you a little, but that was all. Is that why he had to die?!_   
_"Kakuzu, please!" you begged, still trying to pull him off the stranger. "Please stop! He's already dead."_   
_"He's not," your husband replied and struck again with his fist. His ankles were bloody and the skin was cracked, but he just wouldn't stop._   
_Crying, you threw yourself on Kakuzu's body to pull him out of his tantrum._   
_You actually managed to throw the black-haired man slightly off balance so that his next blow didn't hit as hard as the previous ones._   
_"Kakuzu!" With your arms wrapped around his neck, you braced yourself backwards with all your strength so that you fell on your back and pulled him with you. He breathed heavily, defending himself against you - but calmed down a little._   
_"Let's go," you begged with tears. "Please, let's go home!"_

  
  
"Did he die?" Hidan asked and looked out of the dirty window into the street. He knew Kakuzu's wild temper and the lust for murder - but pathological jealousy? That was new.  
You nodded silently and the corner of your mouth twitched down. You felt like crying, but you certainly wouldn't burst into tears in the tavern. Telling Hidan this story hurt, especially because it was the first time you told it to anyone. And Hidan of all people!  
"Has he ever...?" You felt a questioning but warm look on you. He sounded a little worried, which moved you.  
"No. He never hit me," you replied. "But others, the more often I fear."  
Hidan was silent for a moment and then rose.  
"We should leave," he said. "I'm sure Kakuzu has already finished."  
By 'done', he must have meant that his partner had killed the men who were on their way to your house. He was probably right - Kakuzu was fast at these things.  
  


  
"What took you two so long? Your ex-husband wiped some blood from his hands and you clearly felt the sinister look on your face.  
"We were in the village," you said, stroking Kokoro's head as you passed by. "You took care of the matter?"  
Kakuzu growled approvingly and looked at Hidan, who was leaning against the wall of the house and kept silent. You could clearly feel the crackle that emanated from Kakuzu. He was jealous after all these years. Your heart became heavy, you just couldn't stand this jealousy. Another reason for divorce, if you thought about it carefully.  
"Hidan, would you be good enough to put some water on the inside? I would like some more tea," you asked the young monk. He was a little puzzled, but noticed that you wanted to have a private conversation with Kakuzu. He nodded and disappeared into the small house.  
You were alone.  
Only too clearly you felt his angry, murderous aura coming closer. A hand on your hair, he pulled a beetle from a strand of hair. His aura was dark and it was probably not only because he had just killed six men.  
"Hidan protected me from them," you said and endured the touch as calmly as possible.  
"I would have protected you - if you hadn't run after that idiot."  
You nodded, but didn't agree with him. After all it was his fault that Hidan ran away!  
"Don't be so terribly jealous again, Kakuzu. Hidan is your partner and more importantly - he is half a child! Just look at him", your voice was much more irritated than you wanted it to be, but you couldn't hold back.  
"He's not a child," Kakuzu hissed immediately. "He's a criminal, just like me - or like you!"  
When you flinched, he brought your past back to the table. But that's irrelevant now!  
"Of course he'll kill if he has to, to survive! Just look at him! All he wants is to find his place in life!"  
"Don't talk such shit!", the black-haired man drove at you and pushed you back a bit with his body. "Stop interpreting things into people that are just not right!"  
"Oh, like I supposedly did with you?!" You also raised your voice and became increasingly angry. The urge to go on the offensive and cut him down became stronger and stronger. But he was so angry and upset - first of all you hardly knew that about him and secondly you knew exactly that this would only make him even more angry.  
"You've always penned so much into me," he growled and you felt something very rare around him - sadness. "You always thought you knew all my motives."  
"You are- You were my husband!" Tears filled your eyes. "I loved you! More than you can imagine!"  
"You blamed me for everything!" Kakuzu's voice grew loud and he came closer. You were getting overwhelmed and the fact that he was on the defensive only heated you up further - you became angrier and angrier with him.  
"Just because you were too incapable of maintaining this marriage," you poisoned him. "Because you weren't strong enough to love me as I am!"  
"Stop it!" he drove into your mouth and grabbed you by the shoulders.  
You realized you had gone too far.  
"I'm sorry," you forced yourself to say... "I didn't mean to..."  
He shook his head, cut off your word with it. He pulled you to himself, wrapped his arms around your upper body and buried the face in the crook of your neck. You flinched a little under that intimate touch, but your heart jumped with excitement.  
"I left just because I loved you," he said softly. "I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to you."  
"I can take care of myself," you replied defiantly, but he shook his head lightly and looked into your eyes, which were as aimless and white as usual.  
"You can't. And you know it."  
You swallowed hard against the lump in your throat.  
Of course you knew that.  
  



	6. My heart is flawed, I know my weakness

"Uh..."  
Kakuzu immediately left you when you could hear Hidan's voice. He seemed a little insecure, at least judging by his pitch. You could feel the black-haired man moving away from you and part of you was disappointed. You hadn't felt his touch for years and damn it, you really missed him a lot. No matter how much you tried to resist it and tell yourself that there was nothing left, it would not change your feelings. But there was no future for you two, only the past. Which you both tried so hard to bury and deny.  
"Your tea," Hidan murmured softly and you nodded thankfully to him. A short twitch in Kakuzu's direction came from you, but you decided not to throw any more things at his head. Everything else would only hurt him on purpose. He could defend himself and deny it as often as he wanted, but you knew he missed you - though not as much as you missed him.  
In the kitchen, you turned to Hidan, who was still standing in the doorway, still a little perplexed.  
"I think tomorrow I should have your information. Then you can finally leave," you said in a bitter voice. "Oh, and thanks for the tea. Very nice of you."  
You left the steaming cup unattended on the kitchen table and went upstairs to your bedroom. Your throat was dry and hurt like hell and your eyes were burning.  
It was always the same with Kakuzu, each time it ended in tears.  
  


  
Hidan sank a little deeper into the hot water while the white streaks hung in his face. He enjoyed the hot bath very much, after all such a luxury was rare since he became a member of Akatsuki - all the more he was happy when you offered it to him. Of course only after you had finished crying. He had heard you and of course he had discovered your red eyes as soon as you entered the kitchen. Kakuzu hadn't paid any attention and somehow, young Akatsuki felt really sorry for you. Being married to Kakuzu wasn't easy and he didn't think divorce would be any easier. As much as he was annoyed by the older one, day after day and, if you want to be precise, every second they had to spend together - Kakuzu was not bad through and through. By Jashin, he'd never tell him though! And yet... He did not hate the black-haired man that much. He didn't really like him either, rather it was a neutral feeling of indifference. But it was always better than hatred.  
Curious, Hidan rummaged through your shampoos and bath salts until he came across a small bottle that was almost empty. He pulled off the cap and sniffed at the contents - but flinched immediately at the strong smell. Was it spruce? Or fir? Anyway, a prickly tree, he knew that.  
He let some of the liquid drip onto his hand and began to spread it in his hair. He liked the smell, even if it irritated him a bit. The smell looked familiar to him, but where did he get it from?  
Sighing, he sank back into the water and stared at the ceiling. The last days were really very confusing.  
"Hidan-"  
He flinched as you swung open the door and leaned into the small bathroom.  
"Hey, Hidan- Stop complaining, I'm blind, damn it - dinner is ready. Hurry up or it will get cold!"  
With throbbing hearts, the young man sank back into the water and felt more than stupid. It was strange that a woman just walked into the bathroom like that. He had never been particularly interested in women, and neither had men. But the thought that he might embarrass himself in front of you bothered him. Hidan liked you quite well. He wasn't attracted to you, but your proximity did him some good - and that scared the hell out of him.  
  


"Over an hour. It's a miracle you haven't dissolved into idiot soup yet," Kakuzu commented with a mischievous sideways glance at the younger one who sat down at the table with still wet hair.  
Hidan started to answer, but was distracted by the fact that you were serving him a plate of fresh, hot soup.  
"I thought it was cold?, he asked you and you shrugged your shoulders.  
"I warmed it up again."  
Hidan's heart felt like it was sliding a little bit in his chest and he swallowed.  
"Thank you," he murmured ashamed, not sure why he felt so bad. His being urged him to leave, he should be glad that tomorrow they could finally leave again! And if he thought about it for a second, seriously straining his grey cells, he realized why he felt so comfortable around you and at the same time so nervous and full of bad premonitions.  
You were so kind to him, took him as he was and treated him like a human being. But if he should turn out to be such a bad person that even someone like you - so full of respect and kindness - would not treat him well anymore, that would break his heart. Simply because then he would have the certainty that he was worse than any normal murderer, any thief and any malicious being in this world and rightly got moldy with Akatsuki. Someone he liked would then loathe him. Hidan had always been indifferent to what other people thought of him, but your opinion was important to him for inexplicable reasons.  
Which meant that you made him vulnerable.  
And the moment Hidan understood that, he looked with his mouth open at Kakuzu, who was absorbed in a book and sipped his tea now and then.  
Now Hidan knew why Kakuzu was so bad-mouthed at you, why he had stayed away from you for so long. Hidan understood what you two were really about and he felt even more uncomfortable in his skin.  
"Don't you like it?" he was torn from his thoughts and he looked up at you standing next to him with a worried expression on his face.  
"No, I-" He just couldn't stand that look from you. "I still have to pray."  
He got up, grabbed his scythe and hurriedly, almost hurriedly, left your house. He pulled the door shut behind him and sucked in the night air. Such intimate details of your former relationship he had not even wanted to know and it made him angry, just terribly angry. What exactly he was angry with or at whom he was angry was not entirely clear to him.  
  


"He's a strange bird," you muttered and sighed slightly.  
"Hidan is a psychopath, not a strange bird," Kakuzu growled annoyed and gave you an angry look. "Stop thinking of him as an orphaned little boy."  
"I'm not!" you protested vigorously. "He's just much more sensitive than you think!"  
Kakuzu snorted mockingly and rose from the table.  
"So, tomorrow we can finally leave again," he asked you, whereupon you nodded - albeit with a heavy heart.  
"Yes, then you can wait another five to seven years until my existence comes to your mind again." You could feel his annoyed sigh with every fiber of your body, but you knew that already too well. Only not to go into it, you admonished yourself. He was just like that.  
His body warmth approached you and you felt his chakra slowly moving towards you until he was just inches away from your throbbing heart.  
"Did you ever think that I avoided you not because I disliked you, but because I wanted to protect you," he whispered towards your neck and a pleasant goose bump chased down your back.  
"I don't need to be protected," you replied, busy your hands washing your teacup. It made you nervous, so close to your body.  
"That is a lie and you know it too. "His voice was deep and rough and yet balm for your soul. A stab in the chest made you realize how much you missed him every day. He was a sociopathic, stubborn bastard with an unpredictable temperament and a life of violence and crime. What was it that made you love him so much?  
"Asking for information and disappearing without a trace for years, over and over again. And that is supposed to protect me?", you asked in a husky voice. Maybe it was just as well that he would leave again tomorrow.  
His hands were very rough, but warm when he put them on your shoulders. You almost flinched under the touch - but not because it came unexpectedly, but because you wished for nothing more than to be touched by him. He drew you to him, you felt his chest on your back and for a second the air was gone.  
"Spruce...", you muttered and turned around to him amused. "You still use spruce oil for your hair?"  
Caught him shrugging his shoulders as you reached into the dark, wild hair.  
"I have always loved your hair," you muttered, more to yourself than to him.  
"I know. You could never keep your hands off it." His tone was warm and a little nostalgic, which you enjoyed. He could be such a wonderful man when he wanted to be! His hand lay against your cheek and almost automatically you closed your eyes to fully enjoy the touch. His body heat alone made your heart race, but now even such an intimate touch made your stomach lurch.  
You knew he would kiss you.  
And you wished it more than anything else.  
With all your willpower, however, you peeled yourself from his grip and took a deep breath.  
"I-," put Kakuzu on immediately and you felt the tension return to his aura.  
"When you left," you interrupted him and smoothed your top to collect your thoughts for a moment. "Did you do more than just hurt me. You destroyed me, Kakuzu."  
He looked at you without a word.  
"I loved you more than any man in my life. My husband, my best friend and my closest confidant," you continued, with ever-increasing anger. "And then you just walked away. You betrayed my trust and abandoned me!"  
He rubbed his neck, annoyed by the turn of the situation.  
"We were young! I was young! Well, at least younger than now," he added to your indignant snort. "I just didn't want this eternal quarrelling anymore. It was so much easier when we weren't married!"  
"And why didn't you tell me this then and just disappear? For two years?!", you started poisoning, much more aggressively than you actually wanted to. But his justification was just ridiculous in your eyes - so that was the reason why he just disappeared from your life? Ridiculous!  
A single tear rolled down your cheek, but not out of sadness, but out of pure anger at the black-haired man.  
"I would never have done such a thing to you," you hissed and pushed him away from you. "I loved you!"  
"You loved a version of me that you thought was beautiful," he countered, no less furious.  
"I loved you then for being a man of your word! I even loved your constantly annoyed manner! And I still do today!"  
"Only because you are still so naive and think I could ever lead a normal life!" He took one step towards you, boiling with rage. "A trusting bitch who thinks there's good in everyone and is a criminal herself."  
Your heart almost overturned, racing wildly in your chest with adrenaline and blind anger.  
"Fucking asshole," you hissed.  
For a fraction of a second, neither of you moved until Kakuzu grabbed you roughly by the arm, pulled you closer and grabbed you by the neck. He kissed you forcefully, forcing your body with his close to the countertop of your kitchen and grabbed your hair to keep you under his full control. Instinctively you moaned slightly at the rough pressure of his hand on your neck and he used this chance to run his tongue over your lips and deepen the kiss even more.  
Your hands grabbed his top, holding on to the fabric to find a hold, while he pushed you further and further against the plate so that you had to lean back slightly. The hand in your hair loosened to grab your thigh just as roughly and lift you up onto the kitchen counter with swing. A sigh escaped you as he strengthened his grip on your leg and pressed his pelvis slightly against yours to make his intentions clear - as if you hadn't been completely clear the second he pulled you to him.  
Your kiss became more erratic, fierce, until he finally interrupted it to pay attention to the soft skin on your neck. His teeth left small red spots and with every bite your breath became faster, your hands moved from his top to his wild black hair to sink into it and find a firm hold. Your fingers, lost in his strands, you pulled something on it, knowing that it spurred him on. And indeed, you elicited a soft groan from him, but muffled by his lips on your collarbone.  
As he ran his hand from your legs high above your upper body to below your top, you jerked his head up by his hair, causing him to groan louder; part pleasure, part pain.  
"Let us go upstairs," you whispered breathlessly to his lips.  
"No objections."


	7. I'll crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down

"Take care," you muttered and pressed Kokoro a little closer to you. It hurt that they left and you were alone again. And it was silly for you to even have those thoughts. You got used to company much too quickly and once again you were sad to be alone again.  
You handed Kakuzu a thick envelope, full to the brim with the information they would need. You swallowed.  
Kakuzu said nothing, just nodded at you and disappeared into the forest. Only Hidan hesitated for a short moment, waved at you in disbelief - then noticed that you couldn't see that at all - and then patted you helplessly on the shoulder.  
"I hope we see each other again," you said and he just sighed before he disappeared into the forest as well.  
"Do you think she'll be all right?," the Jashinist asked quietly. Annoyed, Kakuzu twisted his eyes. That was exactly what he had feared. They had already been on the road for a good hour and Hidan hadn't said a word during this entire period. He brooded.  
"Do you want to play the babysitter for them now? Be her bodyguard?" The mischievous sparkle in the green eyes made Hidan frown. The black-haired man was really sensitive when it came to you.  
"No! I just mean that one little monster is not enough to protect her," he replied younger a little upset. "What if she gets in trouble?"  
"That's not our problem," was the short, cold reply. Anger stirred in Hidan, rage and defiance.  
"Of course it's our problem! Especially yours!"  
Kakuzu stopped, but Hidan kept talking.  
"Just because you're angry with her doesn't mean you shouldn't care about her! Besides, you're only angry because you still love her-"  
His speech was abruptly interrupted when a few black threads snapped around Hidan's throat at lightning speed. He gurgled, could not get a word out and tried to remove the strands from his throat - unsuccessfully. Kakuzu knew very well that there was little point in strangling him. He only wanted to cause him pain. Two green, cold eyes lay upon him.  
"You know nothing about them and nothing about me, Hidan. So be careful what you say." His voice dripped with rage and the threat of further pain if Hidan didn't stop babbling to himself. But the Jashinist had no intention of avoiding this argument. He fought tirelessly against the threads that were squeezing his windpipe ever further. His muscles trembled, craving for oxygen, and his eyes turned a little black.  
"It has put whole families on the knife for a bit of money," said the elder, finally letting go of Hidan. "You don't know anything about her and you act as if she is your business."  
For a moment he watched as Hidan gasped for breath.  
"Your headband is missing," he narrowly noticed.  
"It must still be in the bathroom," Hidan murmured and picked himself up from the floor. "I will get it."  
"But hurry. I'll wait exactly two hours in the next village, then I'll go on without you," Kakuzu growled and turned away. Hidan looked at him for a moment, knowing it was an empty threat. Kakuzu couldn't go on without him, after all, they worked as a team, but surely it wouldn't be just a choking if he was late   
He strapped his scythe on his back, checked if it was firmly seated and jumped over the branches of the trees back to the edge of the forest.  
  


Kakuzu went on, climbed over gnarled roots and fought his way through blackberry bushes. His anger about Hidan was still in his bones, so he silently got upset about the thorny vines. They stuck to his mantle and the treetops were too light for him to take the path through the branches. So he had no choice but to keep on fighting his way through the undergrowth until it was finally enough for him. He stopped at a large oak tree, let himself sink onto one of the huge roots and leaned with his back against the trunk.  
He hated it when Hidan was right. This was extremely rare, but in this case the younger one was simply right - and that made Kakuzu furious. Of course he still loved you, after all these years. And just the fact that he had slept with you made that feeling even more intense and intrusive.  
He did not want it! He did not want to love you, but he did. You were the only thing in life that weakened him, that he was really afraid for. What if Pain found out that you occasionally provided him with information? That you knew far too much about Akatsuki to be safe? Pain would have you killed immediately. At that thought, Kakuzu turned bad.  
Sure, you two weren't married anymore, but that didn't mean that he didn't love you. If push came to shove, he thought he'd protect you with his life. And he had the dull feeling that Hidan would do the same. The boy had really made a fool of your motherly, worried nature. A smile played around the corners of his mouth. You always brought those poor, orphaned puppies home with you and took care of them. It was no different with Hidan.  
  


The Jashinist could already see your little house, but something was wrong. He crouched down on the last branch of the forest and watched your house for a moment. Something was in the air - an electrifying voltage. Something was not right at all.  
He jumped to the ground as quietly as possible and looked over at the house. Something lay in the grass, only a few meters in front of him and after he had a quick look around, he crept closer. It was the mask of the little monster that Kakuzu had left behind for your safety. The creature's body had turned into a heap of dead threads and that was the final proof that something was going on. Restlessness seized young Akatsuki when he saw several people in the window of your kitchen. Should he intervene? Or should he get Kakuzu first?  
A sudden clattering made him grind his teeth and finally, in a crouched position, hurried up to the house. He could catch a glimpse through the window - you were surrounded by six men, one of whom held your arms crossed behind your back to prevent you from fleeing. The rest were gathered around you, one of them seemed to question you. He listened intently.  
"Where have they gone?"  
"I don't know who you mean." Hidan could hear clearly how your voice trembled, almost breaking off. You must be really scared.  
A clap, a painful groan from you and Hidan guessed that the guy had punched you. Feverishly he thought, thought as best he could. Kakuzu was the better strategist, but that didn't mean Hidan was stupid. He knew that not much could happen to him himself. But that you would be involved in this fight was unavoidable. So the wisest thing was to use the moment of surprise.  
He quietly pulled his scythe from his back, took a deep breath and pushed himself against the wall of the house up to the window. Now or never!  
With a loud crash, Hidan smashed the window with the head of his scythe and threw himself into the tumult that broke out immediately. He caught two men standing closest to him with his scythe out of the moment of surprise. Blood splashed against the walls - he had hit the jugular artery. A huge mess, Hidan thought to himself and ducked away to avoid the Kunai of the third. He pulled the scythe back to himself and with a disgusting smacking sound it left his first two victims. He rammed the handle into the stomach of the third man, who gasped furiously for breath and jumped back a step. But Hidan caught him with the rope that was attached to his weapon and pulled him back towards him for a hard, bloody headbutt. The man's skull cracked noisily and the Jashinist also cursed his forehead, thrown off balance for a moment.  
"Behind you," he heard your voice and tore his scythe upwards just in time to intercept the sword of the fourth. He groaned briefly, more with surprise than pain. Out of the corner of his eye he saw you resisting your attacker, but he grabbed your neck and pushed your head against the wall. Carelessly, he threw your body to the ground and now turned to Hidan as well, who was still trying to fight the fourth. Three enemies at once wasn't too much of a problem for him, but the puddle of blood that graced the ground below you worried him a lot - this had to end quickly.  
So he rammed his scythe on the ground, took it to give one of the three a good kick in the face, swung over to the next one, broke his neck with a deft, quick grip and finally he grabbed his weapon and pulled it up with all his might, blades ahead - which then got stuck in the middle of the rest of the intruder's body. Blood dripped onto the floor, decorated the walls all around, and Hidan's face and hands were covered with it as well.  
Immediately Hidan dropped his scythe, hurried to you and pulled your body up from the floor. You were breathing and there was a laceration on your head - but at first glance it didn't seem too bad.  
"Wake up." He shook you gently and after a few seconds you started to move. Dizziness took hold of you immediately and you clawed into Hidan's coat out of reflex.  
"Hidan...", you muttered exhaustedly and pulled yourself closer to him. "Where is Kakuzu?"  
The Jashinist shook his head briefly and you felt him stand up to get you up - or hopefully sit on a chair. Everything was spinning.  
"What luck that I forgot my headband," he said. "Otherwise I wouldn't have come back-"  
A groan escaped his lungs as you threw yourself into his arms and pressed him firmly against you.  
"Thank you," you whispered and he didn't seem to know how to handle your hug.  
"Uh, I- Don't mention it." he replied and slowly, almost hesitantly, he returned the hug. Every second you lay in his arms longer, he felt more comfortable - until he finally put his head on your shoulder and sighed deeply.  
Poor boy, you thought. As if he had never been hugged before.   
  



	8. I will never wear your broken crown.

  
"Ouch!" You flinched some of the cloth that Hidan was holding to the wound on your head. It was soaked with high-proof alcohol, which should serve as disinfectant. But you hadn't considered that it burned so miserably.  
"Don't make such a fuss," Hidan grumbled and pressed the rag against your forehead. He could talk, the wound would have healed long ago!  
"Better take care of the corpses," you told him. "After all, you killed them!"  
"To save yourself," he protested annoyed, but threw the cloth on the kitchen table and opened the front door to drag the first of the dead outside. Of course, it was unthinkable that the whole thing went off without swearing and scolding. You tried to ignore the curse words and wondered where Kakuzu was. He must have become suspicious by now due to Hidan's long absence. Had he really gone on without Hidan, as the younger Akatsuki had told you about the threat? It wasn't very likely, but Kakuzu had become a little unpredictable at times.  
"Why are dead people so heavy," Hidan groaned under the weight of the third person he dragged laboriously over the threshold. "You could help me!"  
"It's enough that I can scrub away liters of blood," you replied coolly. "You didn't have to slit her open right away."  
"You're welcome, I was happy to save your life," it came sarcastically from outside and you sighed in the face of the stubborn Jashinist. He really was a stubborn, stupid boy! And yet you liked him very much, because actually Hidan was a nice young man, just completely dissocialized and probably grew up alone. With the right guidance, he would have been an excellent Jonin, you mused. And now he was a violent, lost man with a blessing - or was it a curse? - who certainly had left traces on his psyche as well. Immortality could not just pass you by without a trace. Granted, he was quite obedient to you, but you didn't want to know what he did with his 'offerings'.  
"Is it still bleeding?" You felt the Jashinist's hand on your forehead as he examined the laceration. "This must stop..."  
"Your headband should be in the bathroom," you said softly, dodging his touch. It was time for him to leave. "I'll get it for you."  
He seemed a bit surprised by your cool rejection, but said nothing about it. Instead, he dragged the last remaining body outside and threw the dead man off the cliff that bordered the house. For a moment he wondered if it was really safe to just leave. What if more people showed up who wanted to get at you?  
Just a few days ago he found you annoying, annoying and untrustworthy. He had been upset about how familiar you were with Kakuzu and he suspected a wild conspiracy. But in that short time he had really grown to love you - unusual for him. Never before had he been interested in people other than himself! What was different about you that he was happy to have saved your ass? Was it the strange, motherly way? If another person would dare to patronize him like that, he could experience something!  
But it wasn't just him, Kakuzu was also tame around you. He had reacted violently to the accusation that he still loved you. Hidan had probably hit a nerve.  
"Your Headband." You appeared behind him, your face still covered in blood and a bit wobbly on your legs. He accepted it, tied it around his neck and sighed.  
It was time to go, so he put aside his germinating worry about you and decided to be the cold and inwardly already dead Akatsuki again. The days with you were beautiful, a welcome change, but they only made him realize how broken he already was. And he wanted to get this unpleasant thought out of his head.  
  


"And you are sure?", Hidan asked, for the felt thousandth time.  
"Yes, I am.", you confirmed and dumped a bucket of water into the sink. It smelled of blood and death, but what else could you do? Scrubbing the kitchen was the most sensible thing to do, even though you probably wouldn't get all the spots. A little blood stuck to the wood, for better or worse, because how could you see it?  
"I can stay another hour. Kakuzu won't go on without me," Hidan protested further, but you groaned annoyed and let new, fresh water run into the bucket.  
"Hidan, go away," you said quietly. "I'll manage. Because, even if you don't believe me, I got along fine in life before I met you."  
"You no longer have a guard dog," he noted and you nodded sheepishly. You would miss Kokoro.  
"Now go." You just pushed him out the door, pressed his gun into his hand and were about to slam the door when you felt a second chakra.  
Kakuzu!  
You stuck your head out the door and really, at the edge of the forest, the black-haired man came out of the thick undergrowth and paused briefly.  
Kakuzu looked at Hidan, saw the trail of blood from your front door to the cliff and then the blood on your face. Immediately he came closer, was with you, lifted your chin a little and inspected the wound on your forehead.  
"What happened?" The question went to Hidan, who immediately told him everything. That he had saved your ass, that it was lucky that he had to come back and that you wanted him to disappear again immediately.  
"Go on, get in." Kakuzu pushed you into the kitchen, placed you on one of the chairs and pressed the cloth soaked in alcohol back onto the laceration.  
"Ow-", you wailed at the burning pain, but he ignored it and turned to his partner.  
"All dead?" Hidan nodded. "Good."  
"You can go, I'll manage-," you tried to rebel against the two worried idiots, but Kakuzu wordlessly stripped his coat, let one of his threads come out of his arm and held your head.  
"Grit your teeth," he growled and didn't give a damn about the theater you were putting on while sewing up the wound. He used an extremely thin specimen of his black, living threads to sew you up, but there would definitely be a scar. Hidan stood helplessly beside it, watching what was happening and sighed heavily.  
"She can't stay here," he turned to Kakuzu, who was concentrated on your care.  
"I know that," it came impatiently from him. "The best thing is to take her to the nearest black market, from there-"  
"HEY!", you shouted in between and we both looked at you surprised. "Stop it! You both act like I'm a princess in distress!"  
You exchanged a quick glance, which said exactly that. What, did they really look at you as a poor, helpless princess unable to cope on her own?  
"Before you two turned everything upside down here, I was doing just fine on my own. These guys were looking for you and not for me!"  
"Is that right?" Kakuzu turned to the younger one, who nodded hesitantly.  
"I think so," he replied.  
"Do you believe it or do you know it," Kakuzu nodded, let go of your aching face and hit the younger one.  
"I couldn't hear everything," Hidan poisoned back and once again you had to step in between. You rose from your chair, but a sudden dizziness made you stumble. You took a step back, bumped your knees against the chair and staggered backwards. Immediately, two hands reached for you and grabbed your wrists. Both Akatsuki had simultaneously braked your fall backwards, Hidan on your right arm, Kakuzu on your left. They looked at each other briefly, letting go both at the same time, so that you ended up on the chair, groaning exhausted. Your head hurt like hell, and you didn't have the strength at that moment to get angry with the two idiots.  
"One night," you gave in. "Tomorrow you'll leave."  
  


The night was full of nightmares and in the end you were sitting at the kitchen table with the two Akatsuki before dawn - which still had some bloodstains - and an uncomfortable silence prevailed between you.  
You stared into your already cold tea, one hand on your aching head and with a heavy heart. The whole affair had taken on incredible proportions. At first you thought it was just another job for Kakuzu, gathering information, and then he disappeared from your life again. But not only that, because now you had developed a strange friendship with Hidan, Kakuzu had come a bit closer again and you didn't even know anymore where up and down was in this whole mixture. Two attacks in just a few days, both because the Akatsuki were with you. They had to leave, and then you finally had your peace of mind again!  
But it would be lonely without them and especially without Kokoro. Kakuzu had promised you that he would leave you a guard dog again if he could, but by then, a few years had passed. The 'next opportunity' was a very vague time in your eyes. You had to ask him not to wait too long.  
Hidan looked as if he wanted to say something to you, but he didn't seem to be able to get it over with. You clearly felt his tension, his need to tell you something - something he felt was important. But he remained silent, sipped his herbal tea and stared at the tabletop.  
And Kakuzu? Kakuzu was silence itself. He showed no sign of nervousness, restlessness, or any kind of emotion whatsoever. Would he ever change?  
  


After a short hug for Hidan, a renewed thank you for his help, and an encouraging smile from you, you stood on your porch, Kakuzu in front of you. He didn't really seem to like the situation of parting - was it the fact that you were now completely alone? It wasn't as if you were defenseless, but you were careful not to start this argument with him again.  
The black-haired man didn't seem to know if there was anything to say, so he just kept silent. Meanwhile, you grabbed his forearm and pushed the heavy, dark cloth with the red clouds up a bit.  
"I want to call in a favor," you said softly and stroked with your fingertips over the dark skin on which the rings were tattooed. You took a step closer, leaned your head against his chest and enjoyed the brief moment of intimacy. He did not retreat, on the contrary: he leaned towards you, a rare sign of his affection and regret that everything had ended in such chaos.  
"And what shall I do for you?" His hand went into your hair and one lay on your back, pressing you a little closer to him.  
"Please come back. Not for a few years. Soon," you confessed your deepest wish. Kakuzu sighed briefly but then nodded.  
"I have no choice anyway. If you want to ask for it as a favor..."  
"And one more thing."  
"What else?" You smiled at his fake annoyed answer. Typical Kakuzu!  
"Watch out for Hidan."  
"And what do you imagine?" Oh, that angry growl was real. "I'm not his babysitter!"  
"I have three more favors to call in. Take it as my second," you insisted on your request and he nodded again, but a little more tense.  
"Whatever, I'll do what I can. But only because of these damned favors!"  
"You're the best," you joked and released yourself from his embrace. The black-haired man turned to the edge of the forest where Hidan was already waiting, unpleasantly touched by your rather intimate farewell.  
"See you when we have captured the Biju," Kakuzu promised you. Did you hear a little longing in his voice? No, you must have imagined it.   
"Yes, we will," you agreed. "See you soon."  
You waited outside the front door until they disappeared into the woods. Until you could no longer feel their chakra, you stood in the pale light of the sunrise and an unpleasant feeling crept up your neck.  
Something told you that Kakuzu would not return.  
  



End file.
